In the social media world, Instagram has become a major bummer. This comic from illustrator Rachal Duggan expresses it perfectly. I joined Cara to grab my artsparrow handle but have yet to do anything with it. Honestly, I’m feeling sad and jaded about social media and our rights & privacy with all the AI training happening. I don’t know what the future holds for us. There’s only one thing I know for sure: I love making art. I need to share it because it’s part of my existential human experience. I must make things.

Speaking of making things, Andrea Schmitz and I are plotting our next horror short. Partnering with Andrea has allowed me to dream of bigger projects. This new piece tackles the subject of obsession and will include body horror. But first…

📣 Exciting News 📣

Our animated short “Mistletoe” has been accepted into its first horror fest! Andrea has previously earned laurels for her film “Thirst“—13+ of them—”Mistletoe” will be my first, and I’m excited. Andrea texted me the great news as I headed home from Denver, Colorado. I’m in the middle of boarding traffic, grumbling about not wanting to fly for a while, and she texts, “Pack your bags; we’re going to Cali!”

“Mistletoe” will premiere at the Midsummer Scream Halloween & Horror Convention in Long Beach, California. It has also been accepted into the 2025 Triborough Film Fest. After premiering this year at various festivals, we’ll release the short on Vimeo and share the link with everyone. Stay tuned!

Since my last newsletter, the months have been filled with familial events: my late mother’s birthday, Mother’s Day, and Father’s Day. Over the years, I’ve spent a lot of time thinking and talking (cough, therapy) about how I am different from my parents. So, I wanted to take a moment to highlight things we have in common.

Mother!

I have been reflecting on how my mother and I were alike in some ways. Both of us are Aries women—quirky, feisty, and fiery. My mom had a very generous spirit, sometimes to her detriment, as always she put others’ needs before hers. Luckily, I’ve been able to work on this by eliminating the people-pleaser gene over time (it’s a process). The most precious trait I got from my mother is her humor. Growing up, I loved making people laugh (I still do), and mom was my best audience. I inherited her silly gene—and silly she was!

After my mom’s passing in 2008, to commemorate her 10th anniversary in 2018, I illustrated her childhood railroad apartment in Brooklyn, one of my favorite stories, especially because it included my uncle knowing at nine years old that he would become a funeral director. I was–and still am, quite frankly–absolutely in awe that any child can know they wanted to be a mortician and then go and become one.

Mother, Creator

I don’t have kids. I know creation energy only through art. I’ve treated projects like my children, raising them until they are ready to enter the world. It’s not the same as being a mother to humans—or a mother of dragons—but I see creation as “mother energy.”

This energy is much more than mothering children – it is about bringing ideas and thoughts to birth and nurturing that creation into flourishing growth and development.

The Greek goddess Demeter is the archetypal mother: creator and destroyer; ruling the earth, fertility and agriculture. She gives birth to new ideas, businesses, children and crafts. She nurtures her creation tenderly and breathes life into it. She is a teacher, guiding and directing her creation. She provides healing, and sustains and protects her creation from being destroyed by others. (src)

Books, records, films—we nurture these works, dedicating time and energy, often sacrificing sleep and our social lives. I have chosen a life devoted to making art. I highly commend those who juggle parenthood too!

Growing up, I wasn’t sure about motherhood, but I always dreamed of having a cat. Because of my brother’s severe allergies, I had to wait until my 20s to finally get one.

The most important person that needs mothering is our inner child. (src)

Whether or not our parents are still on this mortal coil, as adults, we are the only ones who can truly nurture ourselves. I had to learn to mother myself. External validation can be addictive—it feels so good—but it’s vital to stay internally centered, especially when spending so many hours alone on projects. 

The most intense project so far was the Gender Cards for NARAL Pro-Choice America. It required a lightning-fast turnaround, creating several polished portraits per day for over a month straight. Looking back, I see ways I could have cared for myself better, but since then I have improved my boundaries and time management significantly. I knew burnout was unsustainable long-term, though it took me a long time to grasp how to be better to myself. Learning lessons.

The (above) photo reminded me of this clip from Arrested Development:

Dad Energy

Father, in the classic role of the provider, is the part of myself I’ve had to get in touch with after I began unraveling the role of “pleasant woman” (see: mom). A side that is confident—brazen even—pragmatic. A loyal and strong advocate. My dad and I have a lot of differences in how we see the world, but it always surprises me to see the things we have in common. It’s the side of myself that is passionate, loud, angry, loyal, and a dash of feral (Tim says I open cereal boxes like a muppet). My dad is the same.

I was recently on the phone with my dad, and we shared our fear of death. Zing! It was a breakthrough moment because we often check in to find out the other is “fine.” But after some health scares a year before and Dad hitting the 80 mark, he’s had some existential moments. When bringing up our fears, we said it nearly simultaneously: “the void.” He believes in god and all that, too. Deep down, we’re both scared that there is nothing. It’s almost funny to be scared of nothing. Maybe we’re just both scared of endings?

This convo caused me to finish a comic I started last year called “The Void.” The last time I saw my favorite pair of glasses was during an Andrei Tarkovsky double-feature of [long, Russian, sci-fi movies] because Solaris (1972) and Stalker (1979) were the last movies I watched with those pink cuties on my face.

A quote of Dad’s from childhood that I love and still use today:

“Take a good look around, kids” (about a restaurant or establishment we would not be visiting again). It still makes me laugh; a reminder that my dad can be hilarious and that humor is a massive thread in our family.

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Highlights from Spring

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• April 8th eclipse: I’m not usually tuned into what the public is doing, but I watched my first solar eclipse with over 7,000+ people at Greenwood Cemetery. It was a profound experience, and an Aries moon, too! I feel as though I got solar-powered by the sun; my creativity has been off the charts ever since.

  

• My interest in wolves led me to watch the documentary Island of the Sea Wolves (2022), which was chockful of wolf mother drama. If you are anything like me and need a break from stupid real-world drama (aka. our living nightmare), I highly recommend watching some nature documentaries to take the edge off. Gimme Wild Animal Kingdom drama any day! Human drama—blerg.

• A nod to Mental Health Awareness in May. Once I learned to put my mental health first, I truly became a well-functioning human. I can’t recommend therapy enough. The most important thing I learned was acceptance (of self, and others) and boundaries—what a gift. For me, therapy was life-changing.

  

• Exciting news! I was featured in Canvas Rebel, thanks to a recommendation from April Merl (thank you, April!). You can read my interview here.

• May 27 was World Dracula Day, and I have finally put all the Nosferatu shorts IN ONE PLACE. Have you watched Volume 1? For a good time, call Nosferatu.

• We took a little trip into the unknown: Denver, Colorado. Initially, it was because I got tickets to see Lord Huron playing at Red Rocks Amphitheater as far back as November 2023, so we decided to make a mini vacation out of it.

  

  A funny thing happened on the way to the venue, however. We inadvertently chose THE most challenging trail to the Amphitheater. I was unprepared for this level of hike, but it left a lasting impression on me. I had to keep climbing and moving forward with everyone behind me, all of us eagerly striving (and panting) to reach the same destination. I found out later there was a much easier way in—of course! It was worth it though.

  

• DELICIOUS VEGAN FOOD ALERT. One of our favorite places in Denver was City Oh City, which we hit daily. “Women, family, and queer-owned and operated by Jennifer Byers, Hannah Kuehl, and Lauren Roberts since 2015.” We loved this place so much!

• 📣 📣 📣 Tim’s BRAND NEW horror comic is out and I highly recommend subscribing! He’s releasing pages every week and I’m privy to the fact that it’s stellar stuff! Check it out for yourself and subscribe free here: Adventures Unlimted.

  

• 📣 📣 📣 My friend Vicki has an exciting new book series coming out this fall: Selene Shade, Resurrectionist for Hire. I’m a beta reader for the series so I know it’s SO GOOD. The official release for the first book is 9/10/24. Preorder Victoria Dalpe’s book here.

  

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MORE FUN STUFF

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• I saw Funky Forest: The First Contact (2005) with another Providence friend (The Left-Hand Path) in NYC for the weekend. This movie is WILD, and I loved it. Sometimes it takes out-of-town friends to get me to try new things in my neighborhood, like seeing a 2.5-hour film at Spectacle Theater for $5. You can’t beat that.

• Spotify has been making me playlists in a genre of music they call MURDERFOLK and I find this hilarious. I did notice that my music has gotten more masculine and male-led these days, so I want to bring some female energy back into the mix: here’s an epic cover of Danzig’s Mother by Lissie, and Florence and the Machine song Mother which pairs well with this issue’s mother theme.

  

  Summer 2024 brings a lot of travel for us. We spent the 4th of July with our dear upstate friends and met their new dog, Henry. I love their family so much! I made a lil comic about it.

  Some magic can’t be captured. We saw a laser light show of fireflies and it was spectacular! They were flashing wildly and lighting up the trees. It’s so dark at night out in the country. I didn’t have my phone on me, so I drew an impression:

  

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Next will be the fall issue with some horror festival recaps, followed by a Halloween special edition, ending in a winter reflection to wrap up the year.

I will leave you with this beautiful moment at Meow Wolf Denver—a truly magical light & sound experience that had me awestruck and teary-eyed in a public space with total strangers.

Have a great summer!

🖤, A